5 Kinda Rules For An Open Relationships
Relationships and dating are touchy subjects… like politics and war… especially
Everybody BELIEVES they know what a relationship “should be” like. If your opinion is different from the other person, they freak out and judge you…
Perhaps even hate you.
I experienced this when I first though about the possibility of having an “open relationship.” People are convinced of the monogamous model of relationships very strongly.
As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think it’s the only way to go.
And, I think committed relationships are WONDERFUL. But I don’t think people are evolutionarily programmed to be monogamous.
Because – what religion deems as “cheating” is basically everything.
And evidence just doesn’t support the ideal of monogamy.
Robin Baker, an evolutionary biologist at Manchester University, discovered that that 10% of people have a dad that’s different than who they THINK their father is.
So Let me ask you a question.
I assume you’re thinking about an open relationship because you reading this.
What do you think is better, to find a way to make the open relationship work? Or to “cheat?”
If you’re thinking about having an open relationship, relax. It’s the most normal thing ever.
I’m going to lay out some rules of thumb that might help you get the most out of your open relationship. Follow them, and you will be one of the few, the proud, and bold people, who get to change their Facebook relationship status to “open”.
Here’s are open relationship guidelines that worked for me:
1. Always prioritize your primary partner. Fear, Insecurity and jeallousy are the main enemies of open relationship status. If you assure your partner that they are number one, that they are more important to you than anyone else, and you seldom put someone else in front of their needs, they will be more at ease with the situation and they will be much more comfortable with the open relationship.
2. Jealousy is outdated and overrated. Flip the script. it’s an abundant universe. There are infinite people to play with and to partner with.
3. Open the relationship slowly. Take your time. Most people have no idea what a real open relationship is. And they imagine crazy scenarios that never happen. For example, I had to friends who imagined this scenario: You get your partner to agree to an open relationship, and then she finds five guys to bang before you hardly have a solid base. His girlfriend of course had the same worry about him finding 5 girls to fool around with before she met a worthy guy. They both felt that it would be best for them to both do the open relationship at the same pace. So they set up the open relationship in phases. First, they were in phase 1, kissing. So they could both kiss other people, then report back to each other on how they felt. They really liked setting it up that way, because if they didn’t feel comfortable letting one another have sex with someone else… they could find out before it was too late!
Whatever works for you both is cool. Just keep communicating.
4. Honesty… Jealousy can cause viscious nightmares at night when in an open relationship – especially if you cannot be fully honest. If you are vague and you beat around the bush with your partners about what you want, you can create a lot of unnecessary tension. Just be about what you want.
5. Keep your relationship boundaries and agreements. It’s important to keep those in place and change them when things are not jugular and easy… Keep it cool.
Finally when in doubt, ABC. Always Be Cools.